This was just sent to me by Claire Cyr, who is a dear friend from Maine. I didn’t come up with most of the text below; but, I can certainly relate and know you can, too.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine, and to those who don’t and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand…

Ben Franklin said:

In wine there is wisdom,

In beer there is freedom,

In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming one kilo of poop annually.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer, because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering, and/or fermenting.

[It goes on and gets political.]


Water = Poop,

Wine = Health

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of [poop].


Both the house and senate drink a lot of water while in session.

This explains the results therein  . . . .

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service.

I wrote back to my friend

I have a friend who’s a wine writer and also works at the CIA. He told me, “When the GOP is in office, they drink hard liquor. When the DEMS are in office, the wine flows. I also have a friend whose wine is the “house wine” at  the White House. This means that during the cocktail hour, when someone says, “I’ll have the white,” or “I’ll have the red,” they’re drinking my friend’s wine. Cool huh?

When water was contaminated in Medieval Europe, some children (more privileged) were given highly diluted amounts of wine, so they wouldn’t become sick and/or die. Europeans have a headset for allowing children into the process. Alcoholism there isn’t what it is here with teens. How can they be “naughty,” when they’ve been taught moderation and live a more leisurely pace?

A glass of wine, oh joy! the word glass is the operative one unless you have an alcohol problem. In that case, as for “tea please.”