Just went to Sears to buy a twin mattress for the two beds in  our grand kids clubhouse room. Grandsons are coming, and I need to get out the other twin bed.

So, off to Sears I went, because it’s advertised that mattresses are on sale this weekend. And… free delivery… What a deal, right?

I haven’t used my card in over four years, since I paid it off. Last time I was informed, I had a four figure credit limit.

I went into the store, and was quickly told that if they didn’t have the mattress in stock, that meant that it would have to be manufactured, so shipping would apply.

Okay, now my sales good deal is quickly changing. I’m already in the store, though, so let’s keep going.

She rings it up, I use my card, she has to call home base for approval, and then my card is denied.

I don’t understand?

“They” didn’t tell her why, but I could call to find out.

As luck wouldn’t have it, I forgot my cell phone at home. Forget it, I’ll just use another card, but this is quickly becoming a #SearsFail.

Rang it up, came home, made the call.

First of all, the call was all in Spanish, and I’m like, “Uh, oh.” I wait for the “It’s all gibberish to me to stop. And at the very end, you know how you hear in Spanish if you’d like to proceed in Spanish, “marque el número uno”… well, this now became English. “If you’d like to proceed in English, press number one.”

It’s a mirror image of English calls in reverse. Okay, when I got my card, I was racially profiled. Great, since I’m as Anglo as they come. You don’t want to be speaking Spanish to me. Yo pienso in Englais, so it will take me forever to say anything to you. And, don’t ask me to tell you about yesterday (the past) or anything about tomorrow (the future), because I’m not good with those tenses.

So, electronically, I finally get to “Press four if you’d like to close an account.”

I closed the account and hung up…

But wait, the phone rang right back. Electronically they didn’t let me go. They took me to a live person, who wanted to know if I was willing to explain why I cancelled the card, and did I mind it being recorded.

However, I had to first establish that I didn’t understand a word he was saying to me in Spanish and at 100 miles an hour, because even though I have a Spanish surname, I don’t speak the language well.

He said, “Well, you called the Spanish 800 number.”

To which I said, “That’s because that’s the 800 that was put on my card… which means I was pigeon holed from the start.”

He told me that the card was just tried to be used today, like I didn’t know that. He said the request was denied because it wa over the credit limit of $250. I said, “What, last time I looked I had plenty of money on that card?”

He said, “Yes, but you haven’t used it for four years.”

I told him that I now knew, but was never advised that my credit limit was now at $250, or I would never have tried to use the card. That’s why I cancelled it. It’s now completely useless to me.

I reminded of sage words… Never love a corporation, it won’t love you back.

So… where’s that glass of wine to celebrate my very last Sears purchase… ever in a classic #SearsFail.