When you get that job, just make sure you leave your cell phone on. But don’t take the first offer, until you make sure it’s the only offer.

I’d be looking over my shoulder and waiting for Random House, Knopf, etc., to be making that call.

areallygoodeday in the life in the vineyards… Give me a break. What a story that’s going to be.

Oprah, Ellen – I hear if you’re on one, you might not be on the other, so give it thoughtful consideration for which one is going to give you the right audience.

This is going to be the laboratory of all laboratory jobs. Heck, we may not care that you’ve had another reallygoodewine for dinner, but we sure will want to know if you got gum on the bottom of your shoe, again, walking down those treacherous back roads of Healdsburg, California.

Make sure to tell us who’s dining at Oakville Grocery, and tell us all about the funny things people do when they’re out wine tasting. The best stories are the ones, by the way, that walk through the door at the close of a business day. They’re so desperate, even with a restaurant and a bar within 20 walking steps they think if they don’t taste one more winery’s wine, they’ll just die.

Make sure Cyrus Restaurant comps you. They can afford it.

Get a spa treatment at Hotel Healdsburg. They’re great. They’re savvy about publicity.

You’re going to see it all, write your own ticket through some reallygooderosecolored glasses.

I know you’re headed for the time of your life.

After this gig, there are a couple of scenarios.

  1. K-J will move you around within their system (they’ve got lots of great brands). You’ll become such a star that they’ll keep you around for a while, because you’re going to become so powerfully influential.
  2. Or, you’ll be the free agent expert, going on to help another corporate offer. You’ll be too big for the small guys, though, with your credentials cast in marble. My grandmother used to sing, “How do you keep them down on the farm after they’ve seen gay Paris,” pronounced par-ee.

The only drawback is the corporate game that you’re going to have to get reallygoode at playing, but you’ll survive.

Bless your heart as you get closer to this gig! And best wishes from me… You’re going to be in my neighborhood, and it’s entirely possible that we’re going to be reallygoode bff’s.

— jo