No answer is an answer, if you don’t understand that yet. When “no” is an answer, it t can mean several things:
- The person is on vacation
- The person isn’t quite sure what to say and needs more time to think about it
- It’s a “no,” but the person is not even going to get back to you (not courteous, so you’re not losing much)
- The person needs more info before getting back to you, but doesn’t even have time to address your question
- Etc. There are tons of reasons not even mentioned here
I just had an instance when I didn’t quite know what to say to someone, who asked a favor of me. I had helped once before and there was no follow-up, once the person got what was needed… After I had spent a day on a project for the person, I had to think hard about how to say “no” this time.
Had the following happened, I might have helped with the next request:
- Letting me know how my work helped the project to succeed – or not succeed.
- Not knowing anything left me wondering
- And, not wanting me to be in a position to help again
- A courteous “thanks,” once I reached out with the free deliverable, would have let me know that my work had real value
As a friend of mine has recently said, when we were discussing my not being able to answer someone immediately,
“We get ‘hooked’ emotionally so easily….even after all these years! It helps so much to have a friend who can listen to details but who isn’t ‘hooked’ and can offer a more grounded perspective…. It has taken me years to learn to bide my time before responding, when I feel emotionally hooked….and I STILL get hooked from time to time!”
What needs to be considered, when asking for any favor:
- Have any sense of propriety, courtesy, loyalty, etc. (This was suggested by my friend and is so true.)
- If you are new to wine PR, or if you’re a new writer asking a favor of a PR person, think about the importance of building a relationships with professional courtesy.
- History needs to develop with trust and being thankful.
- Give “credit where credit” is due, once the favor is delivered. It’s still a very important value to have.
No answer is a very important answer. So, if you don’t get an immediate answer, ask yourself, “What could I have done differently in this case?” You’ll get some valuable insight from the spirits on high, if you quietly listen to the intuitive message delivered in the complete and utter silence.