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Jo's World,Wine

Asteisms ~ Ingeniously Polite Insults

Asteisms… Yes, it’s a TGIF kinda day…

My own ignorance is totally eclipsed by own dumbfounded curiosity. Four years ago, I heard the word “asteism” defined, after hearing a great insult. I actually began this blog story at that time, so I could use this story one fine day, like today.

I’m sorry to tell you that I do have a sarcastic side, inherited from my witty, yet humorless father… His humor always stung like a piercing yellow jacket, hitting you on your shin bone. His “humor” was also missing any laugh lines, on his face or otherwise. Now, if I had just followed suit, my skin wouldn’t be so wrinkled… but, I’m really okay with all of my laugh lines.

Alas… My mother once said to me, “Only a fool laughs at her own jokes.” (Guilty as charged.)

Asteism, I was raised on it. I guess that’s why the word and concept rung so true for me.  I wanted to know all about it, and never understood why I couldn’t find it anywhere on the Web, a great mystery evolved. Recently, while looking again, I found the error of my ways.

For those four years, in my own finite knowledge world, I was trying to connect the dots between Asti, California and the word “astisms”… Yeah, I didn’t have the spelling down, nor did any search engines try to redirect me… So, for years I would drive through Asti, California and think, Astisms… Instead of Asteisms. Now, Asti, California will never be the same, but I’m new and improved, having just – finally – been redirected.

I need to make up my own ingeniously polite (equivocal language) insult for myself; meanwhile, when you grab your glass of wine today, here are a few chuckles to lighten the last day of your week…

I’ve been collecting these for the day that I got to the bottom of my own well’s ignorance…

My dog has a nice big head.

Yes, he does, and that’s where his brain would go.

Grocho Marx,

“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

In Little Miss Sunshine,

“I’m glad you’re talking again. You’re not nearly as stupid as you look.”

Julippe? Is that your real name? I was just thinking it was like a nickname or something?

Nope, it’s on my driver’s license and everything. I don’t know what they were thinking at the orphanage at the trailer park.

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