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Jo's World,Wine

99 Bottles of Wine On the Wall, it’s no longer a joke

It’s easy to joke about 99 Bottles of Wine on the Wall, when you’ve got it going on. I’ve been doing it for years.

We got this wine storage unit from a client as payment, years ago. I loved it when I got it… Who wouldn’t?

In July 8, a pipe burst in our upstairs bathroom. I put it on Facebook… you know how we all share the good, the bad, and the indifferent, right? Robert Whitely, wine writer and author of Whitley on Wine, as well as managing several wine competitions, got back to me. He had been at one of his wine competitions when his pipe burst on his third floor, and he wasn’t even home at the time. He shared that it was $120,000 worth of damage.

“Good gawd” is what I thought. Surely it won’t be that much for us, most especially since it was only two floors worth of flooding. How it happened is that little plastic screw attachment from the hose that connects to the toilet bowl, which emanates from the wall connection, simply breaks after its five year guarantee. (Be forewarned, it’s the number one insurance claim for house flooding, according to our insurance company.)

Well, from the insurance company’s initial thoughts of $10,000 worth of damage, our costs have now settled into $70,000 total, for all things related to this house flood…

This is pretty much in keeping with Robert’s flood, if each floor will be damaged $30,000 per floor, right?

So, do I feel for Napa after the quake? Most assuredly and most especially since it’s now eight weeks later, and we’re perhaps getting to the reconstruction part of this internal catastrophe some time soon.

Meanwhile, we’re living in what looks like a war zone, with everything pulled apart, wires exposed as if construction was going on; and Child Protective Services would be pulling children from our home, if we had any foster kids living with us.

Which brings me back to 99 bottles of wine on the wall. This wine rack, which is 11 bottles of wine across each row and is nine rows high, was constructed as someone’s private joke, I’ve long felt. But now it’s serious work to pack it all, move it into storage, so that the carpets can be replaced throughout the first floor and much of the second floor of this house. Yeah, the carpets became sponges during the flood, with a lot of it being cut away so that the floors could be professionally dried out. Imagine four huge dehumidifier and 20+ heat air fans running 24/7 for six days, heating your home to a toasty 90 degrees, and the doors and windows have to stay closed, and you begin to get the picture for why you want to call in your wine country plumber to set your house straight, like ASAP if you’ve not been checked out in more than five years.

It’s very hard to imagine what went on.

Think about 67 bath tubs filled with water, and that water pouring into a bathroom over the course of a few hours…

This is calculated from our water bill for what is normal for us, and what spiked on that day (2,997 gallons) divided by how much water it takes to fill a bath tub (45 gallons), and you come up with 66.666666666 bathtubs full of water just thrown into a small room.

So today, I have to pack it all up, put it away, and wait for the movers to haul it away, put into storage, get the floors re-carpeted, have it taken from storage, hauled back in, and place the 99 bottles of wine back onto the wall, like nothing ever happened… Including getting off all of the dust I’ve let accumulate, for the sake of not touching the wine and giving it that ‘hip” look… all while getting my work commitments done. Dang!

Some day, 99 bottles of wine on the wall will be a joke again, but not for a while.

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